They do what!

Two aliens, one reptilian, one insectoid, are sitting at a bar talking and drinking. “They do what!?” “I know, it is disgusting!” “But they are carnivores!” “That is what I was told.” “I do not believe you. That is crazy!” “There is one at the end of the bar, we shall ask him.” They make […]

I SHIT YOU NOT

”I shit you not!” Dan said to the group of onlookers that had gathered at the bar to hear his tales of space travel. “No way. There is no way space is that bad.” replied Paul, his best friend who had joined him for his return home celebration. “I’m telling you, it is worse than […]

Nova Farmers

“Captain” “Yes, comm?” “We have a report of a nova, sir.” “Where?” “Delta sector, zone 6, sir” “How soon?” “Seven galactic standard, sir.” “Flagberk damn it, we will never beat the humans there. Why did we not get an advance notice?” “This was the advance notice, sir” Sigh “Set a course and notify groups four, […]

Not Again

When humans started expanding into space, they found many other species that were exploring the galaxy for themselves, but they found none that were colonizers. Humans, on the other hand, laid claim to and colonized any place they found, so long as there were not any existing sentient beings. As they continued their expansion for […]

The biggest Stupendously Handsome Incredibly Talented Person Occupying System Terra

Something stupid I thought up. Alternatively titled Comma Hell As it was a typical day, Kyle was sitting in his ‘apartment’, located in his parents basement, playing his favorite game, Warriors And Quests In Time, where he plays a female elf warrior wearing the best armor in the game, the Tiny Ice Thong of […]

Anything can be a weapon – Jack in the Box

The Mragans invasion of Earth had been dragging on for longer than they had expected. Humans did not just give up and submit themselves to slavery but instead fought back even if it meant their own deaths. Their commanders realized they did not have the numbers to take the entire planet, so they concentrated on […]

Anything can be a weapon – Bottle Cap

Gravra was sitting behind the counter pondering how slow business has been lately when a diminutive Greebek entered through the front door. It slowly walked up to the counter, obviously scared of the large being peering menacingly as he approached, and meekly asked “I..I..I need a weapon to kill a Vastin.” “A Vastin eh, what […]

Anything can be a weapon – Straw

“I need a weapon to kill someone that is impossible to kill.” a patron said as he entered the seediest arms store in this arm of the galaxy. “If you want someone who is hard to kill dead, you hire a human assassin. They can kill using anything as a weapon.” Gravra replied to the […]

Dandelions

Little something I thought up while mowing. “Brianna, what are you doing sitting out in this field?” Vaslew asked as he walked up behind her. “I was just taking a walk and I found this flower and it reminded me of my dad.” “A flower reminds you of your dad?” “Yes, this flower looks […]

Human Idioms – Heavy Petting

One morning before the start of the early shift, Jin was sitting at the table in his quarters with his back to the rest of the room, when his roommate, Cor’ryn, walked up beside him causing him to nearly jump out of his seat. “It is not too late to request a new room assignment.” […]